{It is with great honor and joy that I get to introduce Kate to each of you! I met Kate through a friend and we became instant friends! She has a contagious laugh and an East coast way about her that you just can’t resist! I love the authenticity she shows in her blog Happily Incomplete. Her love for our savior is undeniable and her testimony is life changing. You’ll be blessed to get to know her just as I have been!}
I’m totally aware that it’s a major privilege to be able to stay home with your children instead of working outside the home, and I had every intention of doing so (if I was able) when it came time for me to have a kid. So when it was time to tell my boss I wouldn’t be coming back to work, I was completely taken aback by my hesitation.
Not just hesitation – complete and utter panic.
I took a breath, said a prayer, and did it anyway. My acquired talents had gotten me to a place where I could consider working for myself as I cared for my son.
Once, I chose faith over fear, and walked away from corporate America.
Then, I regretted it.
I began working as a waitress at 14 years old, and from there I struggled up the corporate ladder.
When you don’t have a degree, you take any chance you can get to advance and you run with it. I kept taking classes intermittently and learned as much as I could. What I couldn’t learn in a classroom, I taught myself…first graphic design, then web design, and on from there. I was fortunate enough to work with people who believed in me, and gave me a chance to prove that I was worthy of a higher position regardless of whether or not I was formally trained.
Life was hard – really hard, at times.
The ramen noodles and couch-surfing kind of hard.
The only thing that kept me focused was that need to prove myself – to prove that I could ‘make it’ – whatever that means.
Fast forward to 2012. I had worked my way into a position as a quasi-project manager/designer for a large company and I was quite content with my progress. I was happily married to the love of my life and finally living comfortably. All the hard work was paying off.
Oh who am I kidding? Jesus got me to the happy.
I was saved in 2006, and everything got better after Christ came into my life. Not easier, but way better.
But when I sat on the floor of my living room crying over how I had left my job after working so hard to get to where I was, I wasn’t thinking about Christ.
When I sat bawling because my new baby wouldn’t sleep, and all I wanted to do was get some design work done, I wasn’t thinking about Christ.
In my head, I had worked so hard to get where I was – how dare I just discard all of that and stay at home to be a mom? How dare I take my God-given talents and let them sit unused while I rocked my little one to sleep?
I was crying out to God to help me, but I wasn’t considering Him.
I wasn’t considering that His plan was not mine. “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” Proverbs 16:9
I wasn’t considering that I was being prideful. “For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.” Galatians 6:3
Once I took a moment to sit with God and really accept those tough lessons, I was able to hear His wise instruction.
A good friend of mine handed me a book called ‘A Mother’s Heart’, by Jean Fleming, as I sat in the hospital after having my son. As I began to enjoy my piece of humble pie a few weeks later, I finally picked it up.
“If you are a mother, you have a calling from God. God entrusts into your care a life, a future, a piece of what the world will become. You become part of the solution or part of the problem that faces us today.”
God was not stripping me of my identity, He was adding to it.
God was not hindering my talents, He was redirecting my priorities.
This time, I chose to just do it afraid.
God gave me a tiny soul to win for Christ – a tiny soul that could, someday, win others for Christ – and nothing is more important than that.