I used to envy those who prayed out loud so fluidly and seemingly without error – ever know one of them? The kind of person that prays as if they sat for hours memorizing and perfecting what they wanted to say?
Yea, I’m definitely not one of those people.
I even stumble over my words in my head. I think the Lord is ok with that, though.
I always prayed in spurts throughout my day, but never before had I religiously set time aside. Believe it or not, I think that’s partly because I was embarrassed to stumble, even if it was just in my head.
About eight months ago, my husband and I began prayer and study on a daily basis…and I’ll be honest, sometimes I still stumble in prayer – but I can’t imagine going back to the days when my mornings didn’t begin in prayer.
Every weekday, my husband’s alarm goes off at 4:20 AM.
Ouch, right? Glad I’m an insomniac.
Most days, I get up with him to see him off to work. I’m not perfect – there are days when I don’t hear the alarm.
Ok, for real? There are days when I do hear the alarm, but I roll over and ignore it.
But honestly…ninety percent of the time I wake up, tiptoe past my son’s room and head downstairs. My husband makes coffee, and I settle in on the couch with my Bible and notebook. Once the coffee is ready, my husband joins me with his own Bible and notebook.
We each enjoy independent study…we just happen to enjoy it while sitting next to each other. I’m not sure if that’s odd, cute, or both.
I had been pretty bad about holding myself accountable for consistent quiet time with God until I joined a small bible study group through Good Morning Girls. I wasn’t with them for long – but I was there long enough to create a habit I had been yearning for without even realizing.
Prayer, study, and more prayer.
I begin with prayer…I pray honestly, conversationally, and try to incorporate scripture (when my brain recalls some…still working on that part). I am not eloquent when I pray…at all.
Thank the Lord for grace.
Sometimes I am working my way through a specific book in the Bible. Often, I open my Bible to a random page and begin to read. Still even more often, the Lord directs me to exactly what I needed to read to get me through the day.
It’s awesome and a little bit creepy in that amazing GOD kind of way.
For example…
Yesterday, my husband made some pretty weighty decisions at work. He came across a safety sensitive situation, and chose to escalate the issue quickly rather than go the ‘comfortable’ (read: SLOWER) route through the proverbial chain of command. While he felt confident about it at the time, as the hours passed he started to second guess his decision.
Sound familiar? I don’t know about you, but I second guess myself ALL. THE. TIME.
You know Who I do my best not to second guess, though?
God.
This morning as we read, my husband stopped me in the middle of my study and pointed to the scripture he was reading. It was Ezekiel 33:3-6
3 and he sees the sword coming against the land and blows the trumpet to warn the people, 4 then if anyone hears the trumpet but does not heed the warning and the sword comes and takes their life, their blood will be on their own head. 5 Since they heard the sound of the trumpet but did not heed the warning, their blood will be on their own head. If they had heeded the warning, they would have saved themselves. 6 But if the watchman sees the sword coming and does not blow the trumpet to warn the people and the sword comes and takes someone’s life, that person’s life will be taken because of their sin, but I will hold the watchman accountable for their blood.’
He told me he had awoken this morning second guessing himself and wondering if he had done the right thing the day before.
Because my husband took the time to seek council from the Lord, our Lord took the time to reassure my Husband.
If there is one thing I would say to every believer in the entire world, it would be this:
Find time to be alone with God every day. If it is important to you, you will find the time no matter how busy you are.
Study like you’re prepping for finals, and pray like no one (on Earth) is listening.
Thank you for your honesty, Kate, and sharing a part of your journey. I have been struggling, knowing I am not giving my Teacher the time He deserves, and the time I need to learn more about living obediently and lovingly. Your story has inspired me to abandon my inhibitions.
Awesome! Thanks so much for your comment…I hope you enjoy the time with Him as much as I have. In fact, I KNOW you will! 🙂