Being Christian With A Mental Illness

Being a Christian struggling with a mental illness has at best been confusing and at worst defeating. Before being diagnosed, I was often counseled by well-meaning people that I just needed to have more faith.

When Faith Wasn’t Enough

They encouraged me to pray my symptoms away, and if that didn’t work then confess my hidden sin. The pages of my journals are laced with cries to Lord. Begging God to please give me the faith to be healed. Many times I cried out like King David in Psalm 13. Oh, how I felt the way he wrote — abandoned by God.

When The Diagnosis Wasn’t Enough

In 2003 I was diagnosed with PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder). I thought once I had a label and medicine all my problems would be solved. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case.

Over the years I’ve had to fight the shame those well-meaning people left me holding, and reteach myself how to think. My mental disorder wasn’t a result of sin or a lack of faith; it was a hormonal imbalance that without medication threw my life into a tailspin. I also had to learn that medicine, for me, wasn’t enough. A holistic approach — medication, faith, diet, exercise, and becoming self-aware — have all been a part of my healing journey.

How Can We Be Helpful?

Today the church is getting better, but we’ve got a long way to go to erase the stigma many still struggle with today. So let’s be part of the solution. Here are a few things we can all do to help others who are suffering from mental illness.

Don’t Assume: A quote on Instagram says it all. “Check on your strong friends.” I can be misunderstood because I appear confident. So people assume I am ok when many times I am not.

Be A Friend: Stick around long enough to hear the truth. Chances are if it’s a casual friend I’ll lie and say I am fine. But the friend that’s willing to push back and say “You’re not yourself.” is really saying I’m not too busy. I see you. And I’m sticking around for the truth.

It’s Ok Not To Know What to Say: When I was in a bad space, my friend just listened, answered my text messages and was willing to check in on me. All I had to say was ‘it’s not a good brain day.’  Her response, “I’m sorry, I am here, and I love you.” was enough. By staying in that space, it gave me permission not to come up with answers I didn’t have. And in exchange gave her permission to do the same.

Don’t Over Spiritualize It: It’s ok to say you’re praying for us, but please be careful with what comes out of your mouth next. Medication is not a lack of faith. Mental Illness is not always spiritual. And if you think we need more faith, keep it to yourself, but feel free to stand in the gap for us with yours.

If You’re Suffering From A Mental Disorder

First, my friend, I want you to know you are loved deeply by your Father in Heaven. And your lack of healing is not an indication of His love for you. For followers of Christ, His very spirit lives inside you, which means you’re not abandoned.

Second, your absence from this world is not the answer. Even if it feels like it’s the only way to make it stop. It’s not. We are not better off without you. You are not a burden, and nothing you have done is worth a lifetime of living without you.

Third, there is a crisis line you can text and get immediate help. Text 741741 and be connected to a safe person to talk with. 

Lastly, if you haven’t sought medical help because you believed it was a lack of faith let me speak to this: God will use doctors to help heal you. Sometimes we see an immediate miracle without medication. Other times we see the gradual healing with the help of physicians, medicine, therapists, and anything else that is available. Seek help, and if you tried but feel like it’s a dead end, please keep seeking. You’re worth the fight. 

My Final Thoughts

Every day I have to make a choice to align my thinking with what I know is true and not what I am feeling at the moment. Some days I do better than others. But with every passing year, I become better and more accepting of who I am. And the stigma and setbacks don’t seem to stick to me. There is light at the end of the tunnel friend.

If you’re reading this and you can say “me too” please don’t stay silent. Reach out, ask for help, share your story, and link arms with another. The more we talk about it, the more light we shine on it, and the less shame has any power over our lives.

Your Friend in Faith,