There is an old saying Misery loves company and it definitely does! In the movie Fireproof, the woman who was struggling in her marriage had girlfriends who fed the fire of discontent in her life. Later, the wife found refuge from her troubles in the comfort of a male friend. None of these situations were helping her marriage, they only served to drive a greater chasm between the husband and wife.
It’s natural when going through challenging times to want to bounce things off of others in order to help navigate our emotions. It’s good to seek counsel and find wisdom to negotiate the bombardment of drama that comes flying our way. All of those are godly and wise decisions; however, where we seek counsel or refuge, can be the difference between overcoming our situation or sinking deeper in the pit of our mess!
In our online study this week, we read about anger and worry which are two highly flammable emotions! All it takes is a small spark to ignite a raging fire with catastrophic potential! Whomever we choose to share our feelings with will become either the soothing rain to wash away the flammable material, or the spark that bursts into consuming flames.
In the book Alone In Marriage Susie writes on page 27: Run from conversations that stir up your anger. It’s important that we take inventory of the people we share our emotions with. Do they the snuff out a potential fire, or add the kindling to stoke the flames?
We must make sure that the people we choose to share our emotions with are speaking life over our circumstances and not death. Whether we are sharing marital, financial, or family problems, we want to have someone who will release the oxygen of HOPE into our atmosphere!
Life’s problems can suffocate us to where we cannot breathe, and we need people around us to help us come up for air – hope does that! It pushes out the flammable emotions, clears the air of toxic smoke, and allows us to breathe again!
Three practical steps when walking through difficult circumstances:
First: Take our anger and worry to God. Susie writes on page 33: Determine to dwell longer on God than you do on your circumstances. Focusing on the character, love, and hope of God helps keep our difficult seasons in perspective. It releases confidence and revelations to not just get through the day, but to overcome the problem!
Second: Take the initiative to work on what we can control, and give God the space to work where we cannot. In our book Susie tells us on page 38 Taking initiative puts worry back in it’s place. We have the power to control ourselves, our own emotions, and our own thought life. We can make a difference in our marriage, our finances, and our children’s lives by focusing on what we can change instead of getting lost in the things we cannot.
Third: Create healthy, life-giving relationships. Develop friends who desire for our lives the will of God. Remember, it’s God’s will for a healthy and strong marriage. It’s God’s will for our husband, children, and family members to be saved. It’s God’s will that our finances be in order, so that we are a blessing to the Kingdom of God. If we do not have friends that promote and speak God’s will, then we must let them go during this season and find friends who will!
Lending A Hand…
In our study the Lending A Hand portion gives practical steps to help overcome your circumstances. Maybe you’ve asked God this week to take the anger you feel away, or you’ve determined to turn your back on worry and turn your focus toward God. Please share some of the steps you’ve taken and revelation you’ve received. Your story just might be the encouragement for another!
Until Next Week!
I know that there are only a few trusted women I can go to with prayers for my marriages with specifics. It is so easy to get caught up in gossip or wanting to “agree” with our friends (yes, he IS being a jerk!)…but empathy doesn’t have to be destructive! I am pausing for a moment and seeing how I can be a light in conversations with my friends that confide in me and not indulge in destructive talk!
I love what you said… “empathy doesn’t have to be destructive!” Well said! I pray the Lord brings supportive friends who will encourage you to always be a better version of the woman you are today! 🙂 Thanks for the comment.