They’re wobbling back and forth as you’re holding on to the back of the bike seat, running along side them down the middle of the road. Your firm grip on that seat won’t let them fall. You yell, do I let go now… No mommy, don’t let go yet, I’ll crash. Do I let go now? No mommy don’t let go yet, I can’t do it! What about now…
How did I know when to let go of the bike seat? Where did I find the confidence in allowing them to crash if necessary? What gave me a clue it was safe for them to ride out front alone? Why did it seem instinctive to know those things, yet as they grow into young adults I seem to have lost all parental instincts!
Now they are screaming – let go Mom, let go… and I’m the one yelling no, not yet, you’ll crash! No, not yet, you’re not ready! No, not yet, someone will steal you away…
Why do the risks all seem so familiar to when they were learning independence on a bike, yet, now I seem to lack confidence in allowing them to ride solo?
Watching my teens turn into young adults is the most frightening thing I’ve ever experienced. Did I teach them enough? Will they remember what I said? Will they resist the dangers? Will they be prepared? Will they see the pitfalls coming their way?
I know, as parents, we are to work ourselves out of a job, but the skinned knees of today, hurt more than the skinned knees in learning to ride a bike. The broken bones of the two-wheeling days, are no match for the broken hearts of today. The risk of getting lost in the neighborhood, pales in comparison to the risk of getting lost in the world.
Everything is magnified as they become young adults, everything that is but my confidence in preparation for what they must face on their own.
I never know if I should let go, hold on, or even step outside to watch them take off? It seems I’m never really sure until I’ve messed it up at least a couple of times.
I guess it’s a lot like them. They won’t really have any confidence in their abilities to manage what they can and cannot do, until they’ve messed it up a few times on their own.
The thought of letting them mess up on their own goes against my mommy motto: Protect, Defend, Enable…
Nevertheless, times are changing, and I do believe I’m getting a new mom motto: Pray, Guide, Encourage…
The old motto was easy:
To protect was obvious: Don’t let anything hurt them.
To defend a no brainer: You hurt my kid I hurt you.
To enable easy: Teach, talk, help.
The new motto is uncharted territory:
To pray: Never stop. But is it enough?
To guide: Listen more talk less. Say your peace and let it go. But are they listening?
To encourage: Speak life even when looking at death. But will it make a difference?
I’m pretty certain this is the new season of my life… I just have no clue about the outcome!
How about you? Have your children left the nest yet? How did you know when to let go of the bike seat? Or do you still have teens at home? How are you adjusting to your new roll as a parent? What about those with wee ones? What are you doing to prepare for the inevitable? Let’s Chat! I WANT to hear from you!