What do you do when things just don’t go according to plan? Me, I get frustrated, start making lists, and try to figure out a way to make it go according to my plan! But what if not going according to plan was the plan all along? What if, a course of events, that change everything, was just what God was going to use to transform you more into His image? Would we look at our plan, or the lack there of, differently?
It was always my plan to go to school, have a career, and be independent and self-reliant. To me a college education was the epitome of success. I would be a working mom, and I would juggle my career and motherhood. I was convinced I could have it all!
Things didn’t quite go according to my plan. I remember just after I got pregnant with Kaitlyn a gentleman in our church asked if I had ever considered being a stay-at-home mom. I confidently told him; no…I plan to be a working mother. Have a career and raise children. I also shared with him all the reasons why I couldn’t stay home even if I wanted to – mainly because of money.
He asked me one simple question – if I’d ever asked God what He wanted. Being a new Christian, the thought never even entered my mind. This friend encouraged me to seek God and, if the Lord placed it on my heart, to trust Him to work out the details.
It didn’t take long after I had Kaitlyn to hear God’s voice very clearly telling me to stay at home with her. Sixteen years and two children later, I am still a stay-at-home mom. This definitely wasn’t part of my plan! I had goals, dreams, and a vision, and staying home raising my children was never in my plan.
Going back to work would have been easier. We would have had more money during our lean years, I probably would have not suffered depression from isolation, and I do believe I would have avoided my momentary bouts of insanity from children 24/7 and no adult conversation!
It’s funny though, how God takes what is definitely NOT our plan, puts a desire in our heart for it, and gives us the ability to do it, all the while creating us into the person He had always desired us to be.
Now, looking back, knowing Kaitlyn will be 18 in two years and Joshua following on her heels in four, those years have just flown by. I count these years a privilege, and wouldn’t exchange even my worst day of being a stay-at-home mom, for one day of being a career woman. God has refined me most while I’ve been a stay-at-home mom. He has shaped my character, broken off pride, given me an appreciation for humility, and taught me that dependence is a beautiful thing. He has used my children as the perfect mirrors; they reflect my weaknesses and my victories, and when I look at them they are a constant reminder of my desperate need of His wisdom and knowledge.
I wouldn’t have chosen this path for my life. I would have chosen a different one; still I am so thankful that I listened to His voice 16 years ago when He said to stay home. Because I have seen the hand of God work miracles in our finances, in our faith, and in our family and friends all because of one step of obedience that took me out of the running in the plans that I had made.
I can confidently say that being a stay-at-home mom is definitely not for the weak at heart, but it’s positively for those who are strong in spirit – His Spirit!
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Prov. 3:5-6
Share your thoughts:
Being a stay-at-home mom is just one example of how God has used the unexpected in my life to help create who I am today. What unexpected change of plans has God used to help mold you into the person you are today? It may not be staying home with your children, but I’d love to hear your story!
I remember very well your very determined statement that you would be returning to work right after Kaitlyn was born and thinking that your heart would be changed the first time you held her. I was very grateful for the little bit of time I got to spend with her while God was changing your heart. I have been a stay at home mom for the last 15 + years and I love it! Many days are trying, exhausting and even difficult to handle, but each and every one of them has been well worth it! Could we have used a 2nd income? Yes. But, has God provided for us even in the lean times? Absolutely. And I have been there for my kids in a way that a daycare provider couldn’t. For many years I was a working mom, but since becoming a stay at home mom, things have been so much better for our family. It has afforded me to the opportunity to homeschool our girls. Whether Plan A or Plan B, I am grateful to be following His plan for my life.
Well, you were right… and I am so thankful Kaitlyn has someone as safe as you to watch over her when her mommy couldn’t! 🙂