What do you do when there isn’t enough time in the day? When the lists continue to grow, and the priority list is everyone else’s priorities but your own? I’m often told treasure these times, because before you know it the house is quiet, you are not as busy, and loneliness and isolation sets in.
I don’t want to be alone and isolated, but I’d like to be a little less busy. My children keep me going, but they really are not the largest draw of my time. They are now more independent than ever before. My days are usually booked from saying yes to things I should really be saying no to. Yet, that two-letter word is almost impossible for me to say! Especially when I am asked to do something, and my heart is longing to just remain at home doing nothing. The nothing doesn’t seem like a good enough excuse to say no!
When I am asked to do something, literally, in less than 30 seconds, I have ran through a short list of excuses, and usually by the end I’m say YES instead of NO. The more times I find myself saying yes, the more I find myself longing for the things I say can wait like: Reading a fictional book simply because I can, or enjoy my backyard a little more. Hanging with the kids without an agenda, or maybe drive to the bay area and spend the day with my mom.
HOW DO I END UP HERE?
Typically, I am wired this way. I naturally just do. It feels odd to sit and do nothing – especially if I know it needs to get done and I am perfectly capable of doing it. My personality often gets me in over my head like the old saying “your eyes are bigger than your stomach” my enthusiasm is greater than my time allotment.
Then there is the good ole’ I don’t like to disappoint people. I like people to like me! So when someone asks something of me, I find it an honor that they thought of me, and so I want to help them out.
Oh, and then there is the obligation trap! I once heard that we do 90% of things out of obligation and 10% of things because we truly want to! Those are staggering and very pathetic statistics. It makes me think I am wasting a lot of my time doing things I’d rather not do!
Lastly, but most importantly, I find myself overstretched when I find my quiet time with Jesus is less and less. The Lord balances me. I have the confidence to say no, because my obedience to Him takes priority. I desire to please the Lord more than I desire to please people.
HOW DO I GET BACK ON TRACK?
1. I have to restructure my days and place my quiet time as the first thing I do. Not just a quick morning prayer and a 5-minute devotion. But I have to give significant time to God, which usually means getting up earlier.
In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation. Psalm 5:3
Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. Mark 1:35
2. I need to present my obligations before the Lord and see what He desires for my life and what I need to let go. I will make a list of three columns: One has everything I am doing. One of what I desire to do, and the last empty with what the Lord desire me to do. I ask Him to fill His column with what I should be doing.
But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:40-42
3. I am faithful to obey what He asks of me to let go, no matter how hard it is. I have come to learn that sometimes when I have to back out of things that are difficult, they are the best reminders not to get myself back into the mess of overcommitting. I have also learned that when I do say no or let go of something that I was never supposed to do, it gives opportunity for others to step-up and do what they’ve been called to do.
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven Eccl. 3:1
Share Your Thoughts: What do you find is the hardest to let go of? What drives you to overcommit? How do you keep yourself from always saying YES?
WOW this TOTALLY spoke to me!!! You KNOW that I am a YES woman!!!! My list has been getting longer and longer with things that truly are necessary for ME to do to get through my day/week/financial crunch… but i’ve realized i’ve been lacking in something. In seeking first the kingdom of God. I’ve neglected it these past few weeks (as a start to my day) and I realize that my emotions are running on high, my priority list is overwhelming and I find myself backing out of commitments because of my lack of time management.. and I know that if I were to just sit back and listen, rest my worried soul and seek first my King’s request, that he would give me the wisdom in time that I need..
This really spoke to me, thank you so much Beth 🙂 You’re a gift to me!!!
Laura,
I totally get that! and it’s so nice to know that we can readjust when we start to slide off the track!