“You have too many irons in the fire, babe” was the matter-of-fact comment from my husband as I sat on my bedroom floor crying, with random papers, multiple lists, journals, and books circling me like covered wagons.
I felt as if everything was falling apart, and I just couldn’t get organized. ‘Please help me to manage my time, honey’ was my simple, but desperate, plea for help.
The past week, I felt like I’ve been trying to drink from a fire hose! Do you ever have days, weeks, or months like that? Where everything needs an answer yesterday and every time you cross one item off your list, it multiplies times three?
The past couple months have been a whirlwind. Our family moved after Christmas, we began preparation for the Living Remade Workshop on March 22, and the team began multiple other projects – not to mention the regular family stuff with kids and hubby.
Missed deadlines, last minute preparation, and takeout for dinner seem to be the only things consistent in a season of very inconsistent days.
I have to push back the feelings of failure, because I feel like I am failing as things slip through the cracks, and impatience and irritability surface in their place.
But God…
In my struggle not to drown, He exposed my true strength.
As I fight to keep my head above water, He reveals that I’m not treading water alone. His hand sustains me in the deep waters of life. He knows He’s taken me out to seas, which I cannot sustain on my own, and He’s ok with that. He knows it keeps me more desperate for Him, more dependent upon His strength and His word, and with every victory comes the confirmation that it’s never been me – it’s always been Him.
Jesus is the one who walked on water; I just walk on His hands, which hold me up so I don’t drown in the demands of life.
As I reflect on past seasons, I can see a pattern of growth.
He takes me to deep waters to teach me to swim in powerful storms. Once I’ve developed the strength to swim on my own – He leads me to even deeper waters, and it begins all over again.
He is my lifeguard, my compass, my coach or whatever metaphor one could attach that works to show He is always there. It’s obvious because I am way beyond my own abilities, my own talents or gifting.
Now, I am walking strictly in the grace and abilities of Christ alone, and there is freedom in knowing that it’s no longer up to me!
I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5
{NOW YOUR TURN} Are you treading in the deep waters of life? What are some of the ways you’ve sensed the Lord with you?
Beth,
I am going to be on a panel of three women in a East Bay Fellowship Womens Conference on Feb. 28th and March 1st.
I would like to use your ministry as one resource for women in this age.
I find your honesty and dependence upon the Lord to be so needed in women’s lives today. I’m 69 yrs old and have been blessed as an older women to see the faithfulness of God to provide all that I have ever needed in life., but I feel they would so relate to the day to day walk you so graciously share. Would you object to my sharing ?
Hi Donna,
How fun! Enjoy the panel! Please share away! It’s so important we connect as a body of believers any way we can!
My job was downsized and I am in another position very much out of my comfort zone and it is not an “official” position either. There is a “void” in the department and I am filling that “Void” With that said, it has been very challenging. I have had to be uber flexible with my hours, learn tons of new stuff and all the little intracacies that go with it….in the middle of this my horrible migraines came back and I learned the hard way that I cannot “power through” this job with a one of my migraines. I made some errors that at any other time would have lost me my job. God allowed me to learn from this and I have been given another chance to go forward I thank him for his Grace. I also learned that as long as I start EVERY day in his word and in prayer and ask him to walk with me every minute of every day new things are being shown to me and I am ever thankful. This is quite a challenging time but so worth every minute….in the midst of all this my husband and I are attending FPU @TFH debt is being paid off and the binding chains are dropping. Thank you for your ministry.
WOW! I am not the only one out there holding up more plates than any normal two-handed woman should! Jeannette, I pray the Lord guides you and comforts you during your transition.
I am working at a job where I get paid minimum wage with changing hours. I started working 5 days a week 8 hours a day, then 3 days a week 12 hours a day, then 5 days a week 12 hours a day, now 5 days a week 8 hours a day, with a promise of changing hours in a few weeks. I can’t plan anything as I don’t know when my schedule will change. I’m sleeping more than I should be and it’s affecting my marriage and my ability to keep my apartment clean. I must lean on His strength to help me stay above the storm waters
Teresa,
Those seasons are so crazy! I pray the peace of the Lord sustains you! He is faithful to ride the waves with us!