Loneliness is one of the loudest sounds of silence I’ve ever experienced in my life. It’s a time when the only voice I could hear was the one inside my head, and it wasn’t speaking anything that would bring about life.
We’ve just finished the chapters of Disappointment and Loneliness in our study Alone In Marriage. Susie shared how when we are lonely we are at risk of being tempted, distracted, or seduced. She listed 7 temptations we might face when in a season of loneliness:
#1 Serve Yourself
#2 Build A Wall
#3 Look Good For Other Men
#4 Create A different Reality
#5 Neglect Your Husband
#6 Have A Wild Thought Life
#7 Live In The Shallows
Chances are if you’ve lived in loneliness long enough, you’ve stumbled into one of those temptations. Unfortunately, I could speak from personal experience in all 7, but today I want to focus on #1 Serve Yourself.
Although I’ve danced with probably all of those temptations more than once, I believe the root of them all is the lie loneliness breeds to serve ourselves! When we think it’s all about us, the world we see is so small, because we can’t see beyond the view of self.
We live in a culture that tells us it’s all about us. A culture that breeds isolation and loneliness while being more connected than ever before. It’s a culture that promotes not to trust anyone but ourselves, and to look out for number one. So day in and day out this mentality seeps toxins of deception into our minds, and we believe the lie that we can do it all by ourselves!
The lie is easy to believe, because we want to believe it! And we want to believe it, because it’s a place of no risk which appears safer than being vulnerable. Only it’s fruit is destructive!
It’s fruit is destructive, because it veils us to the temptations around us and justifies our decisions to eat of that fruit!
It’s fruit is destructive, because it poisons our thoughts and the only voice we hear is the isolating one that originally promised independence!
It’s fruit is destructive, because it blinds us to the pain of others so we don’t have to take responsibility for one another.
We cannot survive in loneliness because we were created for relationships! We were made in the image of God, the three in one; God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit – all in relationship with each other. God created us in His image so that we would function in relationship with others.
The devil’s first act of deception was to separate Adam and Eve from relationship with God. He created loneliness under the deception of independence! We saw the destruction of that fruit as they justified their decision to eat it, were blinded to the needs of one another, and believed the lie of independence!
If you’ve followed me for any amount of time, you know I believe we are stronger together than we are apart. The enemy of our soul comes to divide and conquer but God comes to gather and heal.
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If you’ve bought the lie of loneliness, and you’re drunk on it’s fruit and blinded by it’s deception, here are three ways to sober up!
1. Repent: To repent is to confess your sin and then turn away from the things you are doing.
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2. Change the way you think: Remember we were meant to live in relationship not in isolation. Begin to allow Christ to unveil the lies.
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3. Get Involved: There is someone who needs a friend as much as you do. Don’t turn a blind eye to their loneliness any longer.
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The video link below is of a group of young adults taking responsibility for the lonely in their community. As you watch this, less than 3 minute video, pray and ask God whose life you can make a difference in. I guarantee you will feel more alive, more safe, and more connected by meeting the needs of someone else, than by ever trying to live out the lies of loneliness! The Campaign to End Loneliness and Isolation
Beth,
Thank you for posting the video on loneliness and isolation. What an amazing group. I live in a senior mobile home park and see so much of this. It really breaks my heart. I really wish there was someway of connecting someone from Gen Life to a senior. The older generation has such wisdom that could benefit the younger generation. I have several people I visit there. One lady I used to know from the bay area, she was my brownie leader. She says, I could be your second mom. She is always willing to bake something for our social dinners. She is amazing baker…
Hi Lori,
Do you do your Adopt-A-Block there? I agree the older generation do have wisdom and are so easily forgotten.
You could always start a small group for GL with the emphasis of reaching out to a few seniors once a week to just help them be seen. It might take off faster than you know! If not the GL age, you could start a foundry small group (college age) with that emphasis. You have wisdom, too, that others could use. 🙂 Thanks for posting your comment Lori!
{hugs}
Beth