When Healing Hurts

Have you ever found yourself climbing the proverbial mountain, and suddenly you recognize the scenery, and you’re asking yourself how in the world did you end up here again? That would have been me last November. There I was ascending with baggage I had once laid down.

Perhaps you’re there too, a place where you are so very tired of returning to and more than ready for things to change, I just want to say, me too. It’s a good but scary place to be.

It led me to a place where I cried out for God to search me and do whatever it takes to get rid of this once and for all!

Boulders Along the Path

In the book Hinds Feet On High Places by Hannah Hurnard, the character Much-Afraid finds herself climbing another mountain. The Good Shepherd called it the mountain of injury, but He said to her that nothing there could harm her if she ascents to love. There was her secret friend; she wasn’t ascending to her healing but to her Healer. When we climb intending to encounter the Healer, then there is no memory, lie, or fear that can touch us.

But there are things we will encounter that prevent us from opening our hearts to love, and these are the places God wants to heal. In the book Spiritual Slavery to Spiritual Sonship, there are three fears that prevent our hearts from opening to love.

• Fear of Trusting
• Fear of Rejection
• Fear of Abandonment

These are the fears that take our eyes off where we are headed and want to keep us trapped circling the same part of the mountain over and over again. Friend, don’t fear God going here. Let His love touch the tender places that wounded you and gave birth to these fears.

Back to the Basics

These fears are not easy to get around, and they have required me to get back to what one person calls the “Jeans an t-shirts” of our faith. The things that never go out of style — prayer, repentance, forgiveness, and the Word.

These have opened fresh pathways to experience His love, and it’s tender, compassionate, and patient.

I’m a long way out from talking about is being healed at this time, but I can tell you it feels familiar. Not a familiar like I’ve dealt with this before, but familiar as in I’ve been at this altitude before, and that tells me eventually there will be a mountaintop victory!

But it requires shedding some things along the way.

Letting Go

• I Released My Need to Know Why: In this season, I can’t hold on to truth and hold on to my need to know why. It has to be one or the other. Letting go of the why has helped me be present with God and embrace the process. It gives permission not to have all the answers and frees me from the need to explain what’s going on.

• I Released My Need For a Quick Recovery: I am that girl who faces the problem and doesn’t waste getting it fixed. I get in and get it over with. Not in this season sister! God is not letting me rush this one. It’s a slow climb. He’s going to the deep areas of my heart and mind. Rearranging mindsets, changing DNA and transforming muscles. So I am learning to rest in the process. Resting has quieted the confusion and increased His presence and my peace.

• I Released Feeling Bad About It: When this started, I felt so much shame and guilt. Not anymore. Seasons like this are a necessary part of growing in our faith. It’s how we become more like Jesus. The minute I stopped feeling bad about it, the easier it was to let God continue to do what must be done.

My Final Thoughts

Friend, if you’re there right now, let God go deep even if it hurts. Let Him do the work that needs to be done. These are building blocks of maturity, and mile markers in the faith. These are the moments you will look back on decades from now and still draw from the deep wells He’s digging.

Your friend in faith,

PS… If there is anyway, I can pray for you just leave me a comment below, and I would be honored to pray for you as I know you’re praying for me.