Flipping through Instagram, moving over to Facebook, and finishing up with Twitter had become my morning routine. My early cup of coffee came with a side of who did what the night before, and what were people’s plans for the day. My mind was filled with positive quotes, updates on all the people I knew, and inside information on whose books were coming out next, and which speaker was hanging out with who.
Although my mind was full with everyone’s highlight reel, my heart felt empty and restless, and my spirit disconnected and dissatisfied. I was beginning my day on the outside looking in at everyone’s version of “It’s A Wonderful Life.” But my spirit was longing for something I couldn’t put my finger on – that was until my friend Amy Marie from Love’s Landing Photography posted on Facebook, “Goodbye Facebook, I’m needing some real human interaction.”
Yes! It was exactly what I was longing for! Social media, text messaging, and people’s blogs were giving me this false sense of involvement in the lives of others, but left me feeling completely unsatisfied. Sort of like eating the cardboard picture of a meal instead of its contents! Ok, who am I trying to fool? Boxed meals aren’t any better, but you get the point. I wanted something real!
You, me, the dog, and even my chickens… (yes, I have chickens) we’re all designed for companionship. Sometimes I need a lot of it, and other times I need just a little. But either way, I need real contact, with real people, hearing their real voices, and seeing their very real beautiful faces. I need to laugh together. I need to cry together, but most of all I need to feel like they need me as much as I need them, too.
As far back as I can remember, I’ve never been so connected to the personal in’s of people’s lives. Their eating habits, their vacation travels, and their innermost thoughts all put out there for public display. Yet I’ve never felt more dissatisfied and disconnected in relationships than ever before.
So, I took drastic measures, and I deleted (most, not all) of my social media on my phone. I closed my laptop screen, and I actually picked up my phone and dialed a number! I began a quest to VERBALLY, as in use my voice, invite my friends for coffee! How strangely odd it felt to speak the words, “hey would you like to get together for coffee?” and not text them. (If you haven’t done it in awhile, try it… it’s so old school, it could almost be considered retro!)
Then, I went totally rogue and began inviting people over for dinner; instead of just wishing I were being invited. And don’t fall over from shock quite yet, I even scheduled a brunch; instead of viewing everyone else hanging out together.
Guess what I discovered? I wasn’t the only one feeling empty inside. I wasn’t the only person who said they felt alone. Each person I invited has been so excited to spend time with me! Totally weird, I know!
And let us not neglect our meeting together, [which means in the flesh, face-to-face, I can touch you type of meeting] as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of His return is drawing near. Hebrews 10:25 (expanded translation, mine!)
I must remember it’s been written that we gather together, God obviously knew we’d need a reminder, so He put it in The Book.
He knew we’d get all caught up inside our own head, and that we’d need others to ENCOURAGE us not to give up, or not to believe everything we tell ourselves… because if we stay in our own heads for too long, it’s like a bad recording set on loop with no off switch!
So, to my friends who read my blog, don’t be surprised if you randomly get a call and hear my voice on the other end saying, “I need to see yo’ sweet face!”
And to those who are not yet my personal friends, as in we haven’t exchanged phone numbers, yet. If you’re in the local area, and want to connect with me and other amazing women, join me this Saturday, August 23rd at 9:30 for Women Of Vision where I will be speaking about faith and courage!
{Until then, let me know your thoughts… are you feeling dissatisfied and disconnected? Does social media leave you feeling left out and yet in some weird way brought into people’s personal lives? Let’s dialog about it…}
Well said and well lived.
I am so grateful I married someone who is easy going, and loves to cook, so we tag team in the kitchen for guests. I haven’t had the finances to have guests, and have felt guilty for going out for coffee, so this new life of interacting is a treat.
What’s interesting to me, is that I have longed to keep up with some people on the phone. I’ve been criticized for preferring phone over text.
I’m going to just let it all out now….I’ve also felt funny when I read posts on facebook about how people are so grateful for the ones that “have been there for them” and it always feels like there’s an implication the rest of us have not, and that’s bad. Probably I’m projecting, but it just feels weird. I don’t want everyone I’m friends with on facebook to be there for me. That’s too intimate.
And finally, I actually would like to be a little less connected…One of my jobs puts me in contact with people on a regular basis in a way that they feel they can download anything to me. The irony is, as I alluded to above, true intimacy needs to be created; through the things you talk about. I wonder if the culture of facebook and twitter has made people more willing to overshare in “real life” as well?
Thank you for the message. I appreciate you….and as I’ve said for several years, when I get a reliable car, and have met my obligations, I will be headed your way.
Cass,
Thanks for the comment. I have become less and less drawn to calling because I work from home, and I don’t want to disturb my friends who are working so I will text or email. But sadly it’s become an excuse not to carry on a long conversation – just get in and get out. It’s something I can feel is an area I need to have balance in my life. I will agree that it is weird when people put out some of their statuses and one can ponder, “should I take that personally?” But I like how you said, I’m probably projecting, because even if you are not projecting it leaves margin in your relationship with them to believe the best in that person and allow the relationship to continue to grow at whatever rate it’s growing.
One thing I do with budgeting and meeting people is I invite most people to my home. It cultivates a safe intimate atmosphere, and my coffee is free as I’ve already bought it! Sometimes I will pull out grapes and whatever else I might have in the fridge for a little snack platter, and I find most people really prefer coming to the house. The other night we had a couple over to the house and just had dessert. It wasn’t as expensive or labor intensive as dinner and everyone likes dessert.
I look forward to the day when we can sit and contemplate the universe together, or just share a cup of coffee and be present.
So good and so true Beth!
Said so well! Yes I too can relate and know exactly what you’re saying- thank you for sharing from where you are at and actually walking it out before us-
Love u beautiful friend
Love this and yes we are made for some real life face to face time. It’s good that technology can keep us close with those we love who are far away (my children for instance) but we still need the laughing together, the hugs and the time together.
thanks for the reminder…now, let me go schedule a coffee date with my bff
@spreadingJOY
Marie
You are right one with this post. Lately, I’ve found myself pulling away from social media. Not completely, but I’m not so attached as I used to be. I do miss person to person contact with my friends and sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the fab lives of others and then the comparing starts to kick in. This reminds me that a good balance is necessary.
Misty! I am glad you enjoyed the post. Social media like all things are best in moderation! 🙂
Thanks for the reminder how important it is to also bond with people in person. We need to keep reaching out to others.
Hi Christine,
This was one of the biggest life altering blogs for me. It literally changed everything for me. The connections I have made since stepping out and making a point to connect both physically and emotionally have been such a blessing.