I was Cleaning out the old Blog over on Blogspot, and I had to repost this… I am not the only mother who has a child with disabilities, but there have been days when I feel like no one would understand. There have been nights when I worry myself to sleep, and moments when I’ve shook my fist at God. Then there are those days when it all comes into alignment, and I see the beautiful miracle of God’s incredible design. Enjoy…
My oldest child, Kaitlyn, was born prematurely which resulted in neurological problems and developmental delays. When she was a small child the doctor’s would try and encourage me, reminding me that all children develop at their own pace. Then the school years came, and her struggles were magnified in a system that prides itself on uniformity, but is masked in an out-dated, cookie-cutter educational system.
PRAYING FOR HEALING
I cannot tell you the times I pray for her healing. Where I cry out that her brain would work as God had intended it to work. Or I declare that God’s best be fulfilled in her life, and there were even times I would secretly ask God to answer the prayer of a little girl who wanted to be like everyone else.
I know that God is able to heal her however and whenever He would like. So on my not so spiritual days, I pray that God would help my unbelief. Yet, in the waiting, I am watching something emerge that I never thought to believe for… the beauty in her disability.
IN THE WAITING
While waiting for a miracle, I am the privileged witness to a God who takes her moments of rejection, and reshapes them into compassion for the broken. In the waiting, I watch the depth of her despair be fashioned into perseverance and faith. In the waiting I see God take what the world shuns and makes it beautiful.
As I try and keep God in a box, by imagining what the best life for my child is, He stays out of my box, creating, transforming, and preparing her for the best life He’s shaping her for!
STANDING WITH HIM
As hard as it is to stand and watch Kaitlyn struggle through things, I don’t stand alone. By His grace, I stand for the things I don’t see during her trials. I stand for the work God is doing deep in her heart, I stand for the victories I do not see, I stand for the dreams that die and are resurrected through Him, I stand for the belief that He is for her and never against her, and I stand for the hope that He is making her more like Him. Yes, I stand for the things I do not see as though they are… I do not stand alone, I stand with Him.
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Heb. 11:1
Now Your Turn: What are you praying and believing for but have not seen? Are you fighting for a marriage, a child, a financial breakthrough? Do you see God working in the midst of what appears to be a delayed answer to your prayer? Let’s Chat…